Sickipedia

Got an idea for a new show...contestants get to throw a litre of acid over each others heads and the one who can disfigure the person the best wins...it's called "The Great British Face off!"

Did you hear about the Irish social club outing,they went on a mystery tour and the coach driver won 53 pound!

I bought one of those "Everest" advent calenders,all the windows are double glazed and have a uvpc z surround.

I watched the tv news report on the latest from Ukraine was horrific,the tanks rolled into the city and started shelling,explosions everywhere,and buildings destroyed,the people were running around scared,cut and bleeding,little children crying,it was awful...at the end of the report there then came the appeal to house refugees,and how the government are willing to pay for it,so i thought,fuck it,i have to do something to help.So within 24 hours,i have been told that i'am housing 3 19yr Ukrainian girls,Inga,Helga and Olga are being delivered on Mon,its not the humanitarian side i care about,or that i even have the room,i live in a studio flat in Bradford,but i thought 3 19yr old nypho tarts running around my small flat and free money,fucking i'll have some of that,Cheers Valdimir Putin and Boris!

We had my firms christmas dinner the other day in the canteen,Turkey,roasties and veg,and large helping of christmas pudding and mince pies and custard...talk about a fucking yule log in the toilet next morning

"And there won't be snow this Africa christmas time"but wait until global warming has kicked in...then there fucking will be

I must admit those Andrex are cute and cuddly and also handy for wiping your arse on when you run out of shit roll

I orderd one of those 3 bird roasts from Iceland,fuck me they are exellent,i fucked a 18yr old a milf and glamourous granny!

How do you improve transport links in Brixton? Ans,plant more trees!

Cunt flaps!...are they taking the piss?