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breadandfannyflutter

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I was riding my bike earlier when I fell off and bent my penis. I also had a shite because of the bang on the floor and a load of runny poo was running down my legs. “Are you okay mate? That was a nasty fall and you appear to have broke your cock and shit your pants” “It’s alright, the warm from the poo is making the pain of my bent shaft feel a little better and a piece of sweetcorn has gone up my japs eye and blocked any piss from coming out as well

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It was a nice sunny day today and caught some rays sucking my willy! Vitamin D

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Knock knock who there? a muslim with a parcel i need you to sig fucking hell a bomb everyone run now

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I went for a nice chippy tea with my friend for his birthday after go karting and I accidently swallowed a toy car... I was car sick.

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a dog came up to me and said woof so i pulled a treat out of my jeans and the k9 loved it... My willy is sore now.

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