Sickipedia

My Paki neighbour Asif has started his countdown to the next Ramadan Only 2 more showers to go

My girlfriend is a terrible cook. She used so much oil one time that the US army invaded my kitchen.

I've invented an alcoholic drink especially for spastics.. It's called, 'Window Liquor'.

I once thought I had a Japanese friend... ...But it was just my imagine Asian

Whilst on holiday in Thailand I nearly had sex with a ladyboy. She looked like a lady, spoke like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady. It was only when she drove me back to her place and reversed her car into the spot 1st time I thought hang on a minute .

Wife texts husband at work on a cold winters morning: "Windows frozen." Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it" Wife texts back: "Computer completely fucked now."

I'm going to start a business in India, but have the call centres in Scotland. See how those fuckers like it.

The world cup is like a woman after marriage. A big thing that only comes every four years.

Went to give a sperm sample the other day the nurse said would i like to masturbate in the cup , I said Thanks but I don't think I'm ready for a competition yet

A boy who couldn't see, hear, smell, feel or taste punched me in the face yesterday I told him there was no need for senseless violence