Sickipedia

My girlfriend is so stupid that she thought Cressida Dick is a sexually transmitted infection.

Surplus Hotpoint Fridge/Freezers available for any needy Muslim families. Absolutely no charge and free delivery anywhere in the UK.

Test

A young boy walks into his mum's bedroom as she is getting dressed. He points between her legs and says, "Mummy, what's that between your legs?" "That's where your dad hit me with his axe", replied his mother. To which the lad counters, "That was a good shot. He got you right in the cunt!"

Q: How can you tell if your flatmate is gay? A: His cock tastes of shit!

I don't need sex anymore...... I get fucked by the government every day!

There was this really annoying bloke outside my house last night who kept shouting, "Army Barracks!........ Army Barracks!........ Army Barracks!........ " It's at this point I should mention that I'd just kicked him in the goolies........ and that he was Chinese.

"Constable, I've been graped." "Don't you mean 'raped'?" "Yes, but there was a bunch of 'em."

A black guy dies and goes to heaven. At the pearly gates he is greeted by St Peter, who says, 'Heaven is very full at the moment and we are only accepting people who have done something amazing. Have you ever done anything amazing?' The black guy says, 'In fact I have. I fucked the daughter of the Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan.' 'Wow', says St Peter, 'that's amazing! When was that?' To which the black guy replies, 'Oh, about five minutes ago!'

My wife just gave birth to a ginger baby. We've shaved it's head & told everyone it has cancer.