Sickipedia

Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question??

It's ironic the first thing blacks buy when they get money is a chain to put round their neck, they miss the good old days as much as we do

It really annoys me when people put swear words at the end of their joke just to make it funny. Cunts.

I'll never forget how I cried and cried after the first time I had sex. 200 quid was a lot of money.

I was standing in the bus queue the other day behind a pregnant lady. Trying to appear friendly, I asked her, "When are you due?" It was then that I realised that she wasn't pregnant, just really fat, but luckily I managed to cover my tracks by adding, "...for another snack?

Sex with my wife has depreciated like Coca Cola. "Cocaine", "Caffeine", "Light" and now "Zero".

*First woman on the Moon:* W: Houston, we have a problem Tech team: What? Woman: Never mind TT: What's the problem? Woman: Nothing TT: Please tell us? Woman: You know the problem

Vowels are sexy. When was the last time you yelled out a consonant during orgasm?.

Two Dinosaurs holding hands on a beach watching a ship sail away into the sunset. One turns to the other and says "That Noah's a Cunt"

I'm playing the African version of Monopoly. So far I've got four mud huts, three cows, a chicken and AIDS.