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blackdragon

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Them: You see Jesus getting jumped in the street. What would you do? Me: Same thing he did during slavery.

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My girlfriend: The vacuum won't suck anymore! Me: Frustrating, ain't it?

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blackdragon

8 months ago-Other-Random

A pig without 3.14 is 9.8

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Donald Trump is a poor person's idea of what a rich person looks like.

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If you ever think English isn't a shitty language, just remember that "read" and "lead" rhyme and "read" and "lead" rhyme, but "read" and "lead" don't rhyme, and neither do "read" and "lead".

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Your son has been eating electrical cords. What do you do? Ground him until he conducts himself properly.

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What's the most terrrifying word in nuclear physics? Oops.

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People are so easily offended these days. That's why I only ever make jokes at the expense of white men, whose thick skins and calm, rational attitudes make them impossible to upset.

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What's the quickest way of getting a woman's attention? Removing yours.

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My girlfriend has the best story behind why she's not religious anymore: When she was 12 years old, her parents nailed a 12kg crucifix to the wall right above her bed. And about two weeks later in the middle of the night, the crucifix falls off the wall, and leaves a 2-inch gash in the back of her dad's head.

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