Sickipedia

This is the old Sickipedia speaking. Pull your finger out of your HIV infested hoops and for once in your miserable lives make me belly laugh you cockless snowflake fucks.

It was lunch time at work so i left my desk for a few cigarettes. I came back and demolished 3 pizzas. My boss spots me and says "Oh wow Sandra, you've got the body of a Greek temple these days!" "What, like a sexy chiseled Goddess?" i blushed. "No." he grinned. "looks 2000 years old and falling apart from pollution you fat fuck"

I was at my Mother-in-laws funeral and had a chat with her son afterwards. "You don't know what you have until it's gone" he sobbed. "You just reminded me i need to buy toilet roll" i grinned.

That Dad in the Wrigleys Extra advert who nearly catches the new boyfriend trying to fuck his daughter's brains out, why does he raise a sinister smile after shaking the lads hand? Is it because he likes the look of him and wants to empty his sack into his toned arse or does he want to turn this whole thing into a threesome?

I got arrested in the Asda bogs in Glasgow earlier. Apparently, pishing in the ladies toilets is not allowed even if you're wearing a kilt.

Steven Gerrard's Rangers F.C are on course to sign some roadkill in the January transfer window. They are now favourites to win the Scottish Premiership.

I successfully completed my gender reassignment surgery by having my fat knob removed. About a week later, I got a letter through the door from the hospital. "Hi there, I'm Dave." it read. "I accidentally shot my face so I just want to thank you for the new nose"

I brought a crack whore home last night for a shagging. Within seconds the spunk was flowing. "Hahaha that was quick" mocked Chantelle. "I've not came yet you manky bastard" I assured her.

A highly advanced Alien species visits Earth and demands to speak to the world's most powerful man. Donald Trump gets beamed aboard the intergalactic fusion ship. "So" asks Zorg, "is this an intelligent species?" Alphi looks puzzled. "The physics of that thing on his head are fucking with my advanced NeuroAI something rotten so I'm gonna say yes, this is a highly advanced being"

I took this girl who I met at the pub back to my flat and we immediately headed to my dark bedroom. I began fisting her and i licked those pussy juices up. "Damn you're wet as fuck!" I dribbled. "I'm on my period you thick bastard" she laughed.