Sickipedia

Ram a Van observed near London Mosque Driver was told do not Break Fast

Beyonce has just discovered that Roy Castle was really her father. Can't see her taking his surname somehow.

2 guys Tommy & Andy are at the deaf clinic and decide to go for a beer after getting their new hearing aids. They walk into the pub and Tommy goes up to the bar for the beers. He turns round n see's a band playing. He asks the barman, "What kind of music is that, is it pop music?" No it's not pop music replies the barman. "If its no pop music is it rock music" asks Tommy. No its not rock music replies the barman. "So if its no pop music and its no rock music, what kind of music is it" asks Tommy. Actually its Country and Western music says the barman. Tommy takes the beers and sits down wi his mate. Andy says see that band over there what music are they playing ? Is it pop music ? No it's no pop music says Tommy. If its no pop music is it rock music ? No it's no rock music says Tommy. So if its no pop music n its no rock music what kind o fucking music is it asks Andy. Tommy replies Oh the barman says it's some cunt from Preston !!!

Did you here about the paratrooper that had a sex change operation in mid air? He landed with a fud.

Nicola Sturgeon is so ugly even her dildo needs a viagra !

So Winnie Mandela has died ! Unfortunately she did not have a tyre round her neck at the time otherwise it would certainly have been a Goodyear !

wife asked me how did Tom Petty die ! I replied... He stopped breathing you daft cunt.

What do you call a suicide bomber in a train station ? A Belgian chocolate !

How do you confuse an archaeologist ? Give him a tampon and ask what period it's from !

When Trump met Theresa May she said I bet I can make everyone roar by raising my hand ! She did and everyone roared. Trump said that's nothing I can make your nation rejoice by nodding my head. He stuck the head on the prime minister and the whole nation celebrated and danced for joy !