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How can you make sure you're never raped? Consent to it.
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I asked the doctor if he had anything for wind. He gave me a kite.
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I've always wanted a threesome. How many times have you had a chick riding you and thought "damn, I wish I were eating pussy right now".
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"8 men go missing without a trace" Well if you won't ask for directions...
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An evangelist came up to me today and said "are you willing for your soul to enter the kingdom of heaven?" And I replied "if by 'heaven' you mean an 8-year-old girl and by 'soul' you mean my ding-dong then yes, I certainly do!"
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A sadist, a masochist, a pyromaniac, a kleptomaniac and a zoophile walk into a bar. The kleptomaniac says "let's go steal a cat!" The zoophile says "let's go steal a cat and fuck it!" The sadist says "let's go steal a cat, fuck it and torture it!" The pyromaniac says "let's go steal a cat, fuck it, torture it and set it on fire!" The masochist then says "meow".
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All my friends say that being married with kids is saying good bye to to fabulous sex life. On the contrary: the other day I had the most intense orgasm of my life in bed with my wife. She was hammered from prosecco and valium and both the twins had had nightmares.
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Teacher says that 1 is equal to 2 halves. However, I was less than thrilled with the 2 halves of a puppy I got for Christmas.
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We learnt about how to deal with cyberbullying today. There's this little button on our computers that turn them off.
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Word of advice, ladies: If your new guy is great with your kids and volunteers to do the laundry, just check once in a while whether your kids' underpants shatter on impact.
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Guidelines, Information and Rules
Hi! To ensure that this is a great place for everyone to have a wondeful time, we have some rules. Breaking them might result in a suspension or permanent ban from the site.
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Jokes must be in text format, no emojis or linking allowed.
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As a measure to prevent spam and reposts, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit.
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If you post a NSFW image as meme, it must be tagged as NSFW.
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Do not repost from all time top list.
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Metaposts are not allowed. If you've something to ask then please go to forum.
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No posting personal information.
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Reposts and duplicate jokes are not allowed.
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Photographs, gifs and videos depicting nudity, sexual poses or acts, if censored
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Child Exploitation content
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As a measure to prevent spam, we are limiting the number of jokes a user can submit
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Content designed to intimidate a person or group by any means including, doxxing, murder or injury, rape, harrasment etc.
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Meta posts are not allowed, however you can contact admin or a moderator.
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Promoting false information
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