Sickipedia

What's the difference between a little girl's mouth and a glory hole? I always use a condom with a glory hole.

Help! I was just bitten by a snake. Can you describe the snake? It was like an angry rope.

Meghan Markle is a real role model for little girls. Marry a prince and abandon your career.

Now I know how to upgrade my profile as an influencer. Just make a sex tape, put it out there, claim it was against my will to advertise it and wear a cross around my neck on the news so people don't realise I'm a gold digger.

I asked the doctor if he had anything for wind. He gave me a kite.

An ugly guy keeps going up to a woman in the street and asks "Would you like some sex?" "Um...no" she responds. He goes up to another well dressed lady and asks "Do you desire physical relations?" "I think I'll pass" she replies. He goes up to another and says "if you want love making I can make it happen for you" And she say "Hell no!" After doing this all morning, the ugly guy gets into a limousine and says "I'm sorry, Michael Buble, Chris Hemsworth and Liam Hemsworth. None of the women in this town have any interest in sex either".

I used to just use a prostitute once a week but now I think I will look for a wife. It's always better to own than rent.

Junior Eurovision had an army of minors singing a Michael Jackson song. I always knew the people behind it were one of us.

I met someone who said, "I use 'they' and 'them'." So I said, "You'll be speaking super English in no time!"

What do you call a woman who likes to go down on her husband? Heterosexual.