Sickipedia

'You're joke has been unpublished because you're a cunt'. Yep, getting back to old sicki values. Looks like thew's moderating again.

Lot of Nigerian football players protesting like fuck about non-payment of wages and fees. Well I dunno, but maybe they could sent the management an email or something.

This feminist challenged me to do something she couldn't. So I showed her my erection. Her move.

A legless retarded spastic is at the pearly gates and St Peter says to him, "Sorry mate, it's a mistake we're sending you back, but unfortunately we're out of bodies and all that is available is a slug. Still, look on the bright side, you'll be used to dragging your arse along the ground leaving a trail behind you. "

I don't think I'm a very well liked person, these are some of the things I never get invited to. Jehovahs Witness prayer meetings, they close the door on me. Sex with my wife, on our wedding night. Birthday parties, not even my own. The DFS winter sale. Or the closing down one. My parents funeral, and I'm an only child. A catholic church orgy, all the other kids were invited. School trips, I used to get to school and the class would be empty. Jury service, I got the letter but it just said, 'We're not that desperate'. So I was really surprised that despite my unpopularity, I didn't even qualify for a sicki mod position.

I had a traditional English Sunday morning breakfast today. Three quarters of a pint of flat Stella and a half eaten cold chicken tikka masala.

A genie granted Ole Gunnar Solskjear a wish, "I wish Manchester United were a better team, " he said. And hey presto, Alex Ferguson was back in charge.

Why don't the Muslim leaders make all the Paki cunts move to Ethiopia during Ramadan to make sure they stick to their fasting?

Can you imagine if dogs could talk? They would say things like, Fuck me, her cunt stinks. Pakis are moving in four streets away. Believe me, you don't want to eat that kebab. Bathtime? how about washing your stinking cheesy cock. I'm off to my kennel, she's about to start the monthly madness. Fuck me, that was a great shit I did two miles away, I can still smell it. I know I'm usually house trained, but I pissed on your mother because she's a cunt. Here, you eat this shit that you give me, then you'll know why I beg your fucking dinner. I hump your leg because it embarrasses the fuck out of you and makes the kids laugh. Me stupid? you're the one who stood in dog shit. Cats are just live toys to destroy.

I was just about to lick my sister out when I thought to myself, 'What a fucking dirty filthy slut she really is.' My dad had been sick up there and she hadn't even cleaned it out.