Sickipedia

A 3rd of europe's fish comes from british waters. After Brexit the idea is to keep our waters exclusively for our fishermen and up their quotas, so we don't have the ridiculous situation of our guys dumping dead fish because they are over the legal limits. Obviously the french don't fucking like it and have said they will continue to fish where they like . I say, fit our trawlers with machine guns and have the odd navy boat about . We can have another battle of trafalgar and instead of chucking dead fish overboard it can be dead frenchmen instead . P.s Why do midgets laugh when they play football ? Because the grass tickles thier balls .

French president Macron has been slapped in the face by a man shouting "Montjoie Saint Denis!", the battle cry of the French army. This is astonishing news. The French army have a battle cry?

On the news: An elderly French man explains why he isn't wearing a face-mask in public, "We French do not like taking orders!" Funny, they didn't seem to have a problem when it was General von Stülpnagel or Hauptsturmführer Klaus Barbie?

I'm going to France tomorrow for the annual "flicking a ruler on the edge of a desk" competition... ...it's held annually in the Dordogne

I went to a French restaurant for dinner. It was horses for courses.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you piss off the French.

In the news today French fisherman are attacking the boats of British fishermen with fire bombs, in a war over scallop trawling . Have the French never heard of sharing ?. . . Shellfish bastards.

How many eggs does a Frenchman have for breakfast? One, because in France one egg is Un Oeuf

To commentate the anniversary of D-Day, hundreds have parachuted from RAF planes onto the beaches at Normandy. In response, President Macron has issued France's unconditional surrender

Two Air France pilots have been suspended after coming to blows in a cockpit. Hitting each other with feather dusters.