Sickipedia

It must be really confusing for Geordies that Aldi isn't open 24/7.

Fuck me it's cold, I just saw a Geordie wearing a T-shirt!

I asked the Geordie barber for a perm. He said "I wandered lernly as a clood....."

I was surprised to see Tyneside on the list of 9 Paki infested hotspots where Covid is rising. You've gotta feel sorry for them up there, surrounded by folk jabbering away in some unrecognizable language walking around in weird clothes and destined to a life of crime or benefits or both. They really ought to move down to Bradford where they'll feel more at home and have a better quality of life.

It's got to be fake news that 72% of 15-year-old girls in Newcastle council schemes are regularly drunk and incapable! I mean, if that were true, who looks after their kids?

Somewhere far, far away, in a meeting room near Gateshead...…….. Dec: "Ant man. Are ya shewer ya want ta come t'tha jungle this yeehar man?" Ant: "Whyaye man Dec man woman man. It's canny doon there man. Whyaye are ya askin like man?" Dec; "It's just like man since ya quit the booze man yarr've gone all annoyin and borin an smug like man an yer know fer tha last 30 yairs that's bin ma fookin job man." An argument then breaks out but no one can understand a single word of it. Producer to casting manager: "FFS. Ring Gazza and Jimmy Nail and see if they're available."

Did you hear about the Geordie whose wife asked him to buy a new carpet? Came back with a Ford Fiesta.

In the Geordie pub quiz, I was asked which vintage action series co-starred a character named Purdey. "The New Avengers", I replied. Turned out to be The Professionals.

What does a Geordie school girl say behind the bike sheds? Why hymen

Just been forwarded an email from a Geordie asking what comes after E in the alphabet FYI