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one month ago

I was discussing my mortgage application with the bank manager. In the Health Condition Declarations section he asked me, 'Have you ever been sectioned under the Mental Health Act?' I replied, 'I haven't, but Tony has.' He said, 'Who's Tony?' I said, 'Tony is the one who takes over when I go to sleep. He's strangled a bunch of prozzies for Jesus.'

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I read that the only people who are capable of drawing a perfect circle by freehand are mentally deranged. I haven't slept for over a week now for trying to do this, and I still haven't managed it. Oh well, at least I know I'm not a nutter.

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"Would 14 year old you be proud of you?" Listen, I'm not here to impress a mentally ill child.

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I think I need to see a psychiatrist. I'm ambivalent towards Marmite.

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I played poker with a mental patient once... ...but then realised he wasn't playing with a full deck...

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