Sickipedia

I wonder if Luke Littler would hit you in the face every time with a snowball

Great a new jab for H.I.V.!! What a shot in the arse !!!

In the News: Lenny Henry calls for reparations for black British people from White British people. That's one he'll of a roundabout way to get more alimony off of Dawn French.

I was sacked from the funeral home for playing The Mexican Hat Dance. Turns out the relatives wanted sombre music, not sombrero

🎶'It's nine o'clock on a Saturday The regular crowd shuffles in There's an old man sitting next to me Making love to his tonic and gin" 🎶 Make sure you give that glass a good wash then

Ian Watkins has been murdered in prison. Unfortunately, the knife was slightly injured.

Nigel Farage has made a statement after being called a bigot. "We accept anyone who is black, brown, trans, gay or normal".

A wife had been nagging her husband for several weeks to varnish the wooden seat of their toilet. He finally got around to doing it while she was out. After finishing, he went to the local pub. While he was out, his wife came home, and she needed to use the toilet. As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry varnish had glued her arse to the toilet seat. She angrily called her husband, and he rushed home to help her. They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever. Finally, in desperation, he undid the toilet seat bolts, wrapped a sheet around her, and they drove to the local hospital. The Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.) She tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before?." The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of arses. I've just never seen one mounted and framed."

Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.

I always buy free range chicken. It makes me feel so much better that they have a nice life running about in the fresh air. Before they're hung upside down, electrocuted and have their throats cut.