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oboe

7 years ago-Other-Random-Post Rating : -4

How many Sickipedians does it take to change a lightbulb? 842 1 to change the bulb (after all we are not fuckin spastics....for the most part). 129 to critique the technique (most of whom have never changed a fucking lightbulb in their life). 27 loyal servants to say what an amazing job you have done and how brightly the new light shines.. 42 moderators to ensure no offence was caused 35 newbies who wonder what the fuck is going on . 35 oldies who have fucked off because this site aint what it used to be. 35 cunts who said they were fucking off but didn't. A cunt called Jizz who would prefer to sit in the dark and wonder why his mummy didn't love him whilst he sends Facebook requests to single mothers. 200 trolls to keep everything in check and ensure the bulb actually works whilst giving irrelevant feedback just to piss everyone else off. 20 Tommy Robinson fans to stir up some hatred. 20 Corbyn fans to stir up some hatred. A bloke called Funniman to chip in with unfunny comments. (Which he will do now). AND FINALLY 1 Weaverdog who makes sure a modicum of peace breaks out to hold the entire fucking thing together.

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Freshly Dug from the Graveyard

In Jamaica you can get a steak and kidney pie for £1.75, a chicken and mushroom pie for £1.60 and an apple pie for £2.15. In St Kitts and Nevis a steak and kidney pie will cost you £2, a chicken pie (without mushrooms) is £1.70 and a cherry pie can be yours for £1.95. In Trinidad and Tobago, that steak and kidney pie comes in at £2.50, but you can two for £3.50, while the chicken and mushroom pie is £2.25, or two for £3.25. They also offer meat and potato pie for £2, or two for £3. Their apple pies and cherry pies are often sold for £2.75, or two (any combination) for £4.75. Those are the Pie Rates of the Caribbean.

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My wife came out of the kitchen and said, "Do you want seconds?" I said, "Seconds, I didn't want fucking firsts."

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I mistook Molly Mae for Bonnie Blue on Prime. Never have I been so disappointed in Jeff Bezos as I am now.

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The pain in Spain comes mainly from the train.

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Fresh Hell's Feedback (Comments)

bobby24 Need some Viagra to help that fucking ancient joke?

10 hours ago - View Post

redneon nice one

18 hours ago - View Post

bigbubba Made a note in my diary on the way over. It simply says "bugger"

2 days ago - View Post

gmax FFS, another infant school playground unfunny post. What is it at playtime? "Join on with my gang"

2 days ago - View Post

apemansacuntwithav Good for you….

3 days ago - View Post

zinger549 Moses called. He wants his joke back

3 days ago - View Post

Comedy Kill Count (Leaderboard)

sphinctered

Rank : 1 | Score : 46.90

rahul

Rank : 2 | Score : 38.28

johnnysins

Rank : 3 | Score : 36.70

scorpiox666

Rank : 4 | Score : 34.80

rory

Rank : 5 | Score : 32.00

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