Sickipedia

I cum paint... Primerture Ejaculation

Did you know the 29th president of the United States was secretly a Muslim? Warren Jihadi

You know, I've been thinking long and hard about Jake Davison's predicament....If he had just shot the father and not his daughter, he would have finally got the easiest shag he so desperatley needed.

I was rummaging through my nans draws to find a pair of kecks to sniff and wank myself off with when I happened to find a big, black dildo with minge mucus and skids all over it... So I decided to have a go at shoving it up my puckered, unwiped batty hole but as I was so nervous it was just too big to fit in my clenched, dry ring piece... I had the idea to take a laxative and and have a sloppy shite and not wipe so I could use the diarrhoea left in my anus as lube... So that's what I did. Just as I started to slide it in and out of my now brown and loose bumhole I noticed my gran had set up a secret camera in the room I went downstairs and it turns out the whole family had seen the lot. What a bunch of fucking pervs.

"I'm going to rob a zoo later." "You're havin' a Giraffe."

White CLIFFS of Dover

What's black, white and red all over? The newspaper we used to clean my wifes miscarriage up with.

What's black, white and red all over? A newspaper with period blood on it.