Sickipedia

Still don't know who the fuck this is

So Gerry and Kate might not be responsible for the disappearance of Maddie... just irresponsible.

First time with a new girlfriend on Valentine's Day. Was feeling unsure what to do, so we went down to Manchester City since they're the experts in getting fucked.

Feel free to assume my gender. You've a 50/50 chance of being right.

We all decided to go vegan on boxing day. Still too shitfaced to drive, and some fat cunt finished off all the meat from the day before.

How embarrassing for Prince Andrew not to be welcome at a church service. The ultimate insult: rejected by your own kind.

Prince Philip is getting about on a zimmer for Christmas. He's not taking any pain relief, just carrying on with a stiff upper hip.

There has been a record number of drownings this year, and the government desperate for a fresh take decided to ask the road safety council for ideas. They suggested everyone should swim slower.

Imagine being such an incredibly incompetent prick, that you're born into a position where you literally have to do jack shit for your entire life.... and you fuck that up.

I was writing a joke about prince Andrew liking cheese pizza, when I looked at what I was doing and decided it was a bad idea. Shame he didn't do the same.