Sickipedia

Due to WHO renaming policy wales best player is now called, that M cunt

Got sacked from the NHS switchboard after 2 days for telling a caller to go fuck themself and stop wasting my time. Apparently " air guitar" and " air ambulance " are not the same concept

Somebody wrote, "procrastinating twat!" on the side of my house. When I find out who did it, their fucking years are numbered.

Whats pink and looks like a pig? Pink!

I met spongebob once, he just kept going on and on about himself and how he strictly abides by society's rules. Self absorbed square!

What's the difference between an inquisitive archaeologist and Diane Abbott? The archaeologist is a nosy digger

I blame Clive sinclair for my asperger's, he's the one that got me on the spectrum.

I read that the best way to combat a red wine stain on the carpet is white wine. It worked, i drank 3 bottles and subsequently didn't give a flying fuck about the carpet!

My wife text me in the supermarket "I fancy an omelette, make sure you don't get caged hen eggs it's cruel, get the ones that are kinder" Only that fat cunt would eat a chocolate omelette!!

Phil Spector's other brother martin works in the u.s as a scrutineer in the shopping industry