Sickipedia

Last night I had to lock the dog out the room whilst me and my girlfriend had sex. All last night it was scratching on the door whining “I’m your wife how could you do this”

My friend Harry was suicidal I went round to see him. One of our friends asked how he was, I said “he’s hanging in there”

At one point of the pandemic the NHS was delivering 140 Covid vaccinations a minute, jabs haven’t been given that quick since Chris brown dated Rihanna

Did you know 95% of men don’t like it when a girl leaves after a one night stand ......we love it

A friend of mine was kicked out of primary school for kissing one of the girls in his class on the playground. His head teachers last words were “I’ll make sure you never teach again”

The best thing to come out of Harry and Meghan on Oprah is that we’ll soon have a new version of Candle In The Wind.

I’m sick of those that go on about their pronouns THEY can fuck off

When I see a feminist protestor, I don’t just see one person.....I also see 2 disappointed parents.

got kicked out of the gym this morning for “mistreating” of one the bikes.....not my fault that personal trainer is a slag.

Certain things should be left in childhood, like the childhood prank of posting shit through someone’s letterbox. As a kid you might get told off and grounded but as an adult the consequences are even worse. Not only did I get a police caution but I lost my job with Royal Mail.