Sickipedia

A man goes to the doctor complaining about a terrible pain in his backside. The doctor has him bend over, and then cries out in disbelief at the sight of a load of cash sticking out of the mans arse hole. As the doctor begins to remove it the man asks how much there is. 1800 quid replies the doctor. Ah that makes sense says the man. I knew when i woke up this morning I didnt feel too grand.

I, for one, would take more notice of feminists if they put a nice dress on and wore a bit of make up.

If Sickipedia keeps going like this some cunts going to win joke of the day with a minus number.

I didnt realise there were so many Geordies living in Japan. My mate is over there now and he says everyone is running around shouting Toon Army

I walked up to a chubby bird in the pub, smiled and asked if she had a pen. Why? she said reaching for her handbag, do you want my number? No I said. I want you to get back in it before the farmer knows you are out.

Victoria's Secret Brand CEO abruptly resigned today. I knew the cunts were going bust!

Gay dating site Grindr went public on the New York Stock Exchange today and the share price shot up 300%. A company spokesman said the chief executives are reaching for the stars.

My mate Jim says Im a skitso. Which is wierd because I dont have any mates called Jim.

Im crap at telling jokes. I keep on punching up the fuck lines.

I asked the wife if she would leave me if she won the lottery and she said Yeh I probably would. I said okay heres 2 quid away and buy yourself a lucky dip.