Sickipedia

Apparently the French teacher said to a colleague “ It’s been one hell of a day, I think I’ll walk home to clear my head “ “ Yeah! that’s a no brainier “ his colleague said.

Hats off to the girl with the false leg in the Olympic closing ceremony. According to the commentator she had her leg amputated at 12. Fuck me, at 4 pm she was prancing around like someone normal.

I was attending a seminar recently and was asked to list 10 sexual innuendos. I accidentally wrote down 11 and had to rub one out.

I see in the news that the penalty for defacing a statue has increased to 10 years imprisonment. Pigeons aren't very happy about it and are organising a coo.

There’s one place that I just can’t stand. My local ice rink.

What’s 6 inches long, pink and makes my wife moan all day? Her fucking tongue!

Just been watching all those Brits filing past the Queens coffin. I suppose that all the darkies must be busy making ads for TV

Hu(man) Per(son) Fe(male) Wo(man) Dishwas(her)

I had three wishes...with one of those I asked that my dad who died in 1972 could come back for 24 hours. He duly appeared and sat in front of my wonderful digital Telly with an enormous screen. He flicked through the channels and within 5 minutes saw a woman vicar, two men dancing together, a gay rights march, women’s football and darkies on every advert. He pulled out a gun and shot himself.

Has anyone else been ripped off on eBay? I bought a deep fat fryer the other day (supposedly brand new) It had a chip in it.