Sickipedia

According to the BBC, female workers at MacDonalds who complained of sexual abuse from male colleagues were told to "Suck it up"

BBC Headline:- Jesus scores twice as Arsenal put five past Palace. That’s some birthday present . I always had faith in him. Can’t wait for Easter when he really comes to life.

Just bought a box of Cheerios on special offer. It was a really good buy.

I get really pissed off with these people standing on street corners with magazines asking me if I want a bigger shoe. I know my toes are a bit pinched but I didn't think it was that obvious.

Don't you just love these euphemisms on the radio:- "There's nothing to beat my stepdad's sauce" said the attractive female announcer.

I jumped out of my skin this morning when I heard a rattle at the door. Imagine how stupid I felt when I realised it was my son Sir Simon Rattle the conductor. No, you fuck off.

BBC Headline: A 42 year old man has died after being attacked by a dog in East London yesterday. The owner of the dog has been remanded in custody and is due to appear at Barkingside Magistrates Court on Friday. You couldn't make it up.

My wife's attractive colleague just sent a memo saying she has a gap and would anyone like to fill her slot. I hope I don't get killed in the rush.

What’s with all this media shit about the oldest man in the world? I was once briefly the youngest man in the world and it never got a mention….cunts.

True story: I went into a restaurant yesterday and the waitress asked me if I wanted a curd tart. “Is that a spoonerism?” I asked. “No “ she said “it’s a cake “