Sickipedia

My girlfriend got a job at a medical marijuana clinic. They didn’t have a full time position so she’s only working pot time.

I got this idea to create a new food by genetically combining Belgian cabbage with a shellfish. I call it mussels sprouts.

Some things are better left unsaid. Still, I think that unfucking Muslims ought to unfuck off back to wherever they unfucking came from.

My boss put out a memo today stating that if caught, whoever has been shitting in his desk drawers would be severely disciplined. I suspected the loathesome bastard was into scat, but now he's as well as admitted he's into BDSM too!

My girlfriend was giving me a fabulous blow job last night and as I came in her mouth my orgasm was so intense that I lost control of my bowels . She screamed, "Oh my God! How could you?" I don't blame her; it must have been very disorienting for her to know that I was coming and going at the same time.

While visiting a friend on a large American college campus, I noticed that most fraternity boys wear their hats backwards. I asked why and my friend said, "Because otherwise the bills would get in the way while they make out with each other."

At the start of a long cross-country trip, my girlfriend's sister insisted on sitting in the front seat of my car. After a short while I asked if she'd mind giving me a hand job while I was driving because that's what my girlfriend usually does. She angrily responded, "Don't you realize my sister is sitting in the back seat!" I calmly replied, "Well, If she were sitting up here, we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?"

I love blow jobs. It’s about the only time I get to see my wife’s mouth moving without having to listen to an incessant stream of nonsense.

"Half of Britons wouldn't be able to tell that an American is calling them an idiot". That's hardly surprising as half of Britons only speak Hindu, Pashtu or Arabic.

Money is no object.................but every woman is. Happy Women's History Month!