Sickipedia

When I've smoked my medicinal cannabis..I tend to eat three packets of medicinal chocolate - chip cookies!

I wonder how many Saudi ladies will be paying for the replacement of indicator - fluid at their next service / MOT?

Trump was dining at Buckingham Palace, when the Queen let out a small but squeaky little fart! A nearby Earl stood up and said.."excuse me!" before sitting down again. This happened once or twice before the Donald asked "what's going on?" A nearby servant explained that the Queen was now advancing in years and that she occasionally let one go..but that a nearby gentleman would inevitably excuse himself instead, to prevent any embarrassment on her part. Trump was very impressed and marveled at such devotion and diplomacy. A few minutes elapsed before it happened again, and this time the President shot to his feet and proclaimed.. "say folks..this one's on me!"

This wheelchair - bound comedian who got a hard time on a train! Is her act still considered “stand-up"?

I've been invited to a neighbour's later for drinks with nibbles! They treat that cat like royalty!!

I'll bet people with Tourette's make awful anatomy teachers!!

It seems Japanese girls only enjoy being molested by squid in those strange cartoon porn films they make! On the bright side...the Police removed me from that Sushi joint before I had to pay up!!

Well!..my survival talk to a group of backpackers went very well last night!..they were all on the edge of their seats!

Turns out the chap I tipped is NOT the Gents attendant & now I really just want to get this Blowjob over with!!

I always think police - women breaking up stag - parties should prove they're not strippers..before they tase me in the bollocks?