Sickipedia

A Paki offended me by spitting on a bible and he asked me how I liked having my religion offended. So I thought about it and wondered what he would do if I spat on the Koran' So I cut the black cunts head off. In memory of Lee Rigby.

Well done Manchester City and Manchester United on maintaining social distancing from European trophies.

AMERICA: When you arm your school staff, don't forget to make sure the librarians have silencers fitted to their weapons.

Just had a look at the scores on here and it reminded me. England are due to bat later.

Got to feel sorry for the Queen sat all alone at her husbands funeral. I'm sure she would have prefered to have been on the piss at Boris's gaff with the rest of them.

The England cricket team are so poor Marcus Rashford is supplying dinners for then.

My missus got home bragging about her new fishnet stockings. "Good, " I said, "It's about time you caught that fucking fish up there. "

When asked if her affair with Matt Hancock had changed her Gina Colangelo replied, "Yes, I'm now a lesbian. "

My wife was showing me her new spectacles, the lens were like the bottom of jam jars, "Fuck me love, " I said, "you'll need fucking good eyes to see through those. "

Come on Phil, hurry up and die, I'm not sure how long this erection is going to last.