Sickipedia

I’ve just launched a business selling battery operated spoons. It’s causing a bit of a stir in the market.

A recent survey asked 100 farmers if they thought they would be negatively affected by the UK leaving Europe. Almost all of them said they were still on the fence.

I’d just booked a weeks holiday in Whaley Bridge. Dam!

BBC. A massive fire has swept through a slum in the capital of Bangladesh, Dhaka, leaving 50,000 people homeless. Police say that the two houses were destroyed beyond repair and that both families would be rehoused as soon as possible.

Her: “Looks like another erection......” Me: “ Really?” ...looking down at my crotch.... Her: “Yes, and not that long since you had one before ” Me: “Could you please hurry up add prawn crackers to my order”

A blind man walks into a bar...

My Chinese takeaway just arrived cold

The richest man in France has just acquired Tiffany for $14.5bn and is now requesting privacy. In a statement, Tiffany said, “I think we’re alone now”

BBC News. Man dies from eating more than a bag of liquorice a day. I guess it takes all sorts.

BBC News: Vatican Cardinal resigns unexpectedly In a statement, the Vatican announced that Cardinal Becciu would be withdrawing from pubic activities with immediate effect.