Sickipedia

'...Scotland's low-level of Coronavirus cases has been attributed to their legendary thriftiness. Spread primarily by breathing, the Scots are so tight they only breathe IN!'

'...Coronavirus jokes on Sickipedia are spreading FASTER than the virus.'

'...I don't understand all this UK panic-buying of lavatory paper. I live in Asia. We have bum washers. I'm also rich. Mine is called Meghan.'

'...I have a GREAT joke about Coronavirus. But you probably won't get it.'

'...NO cases of Coronavirus reported in Libya. PROOF - Even a virus won't touch the Muslim bastards.'

'...In the fight against the Coronavirus, I have started eating only Pizza. No proof it cures you, but when delivering it, at least they can push it under my door.'

'...Thanks to the Coronavirus, Dignitas in Switzerland is about to close.'

'...On holiday in Thailand, TWO Thai girls told me they would make my dreams come true and for me it would be like winning the lottery. They were right. Back in my hotel room I found out we had six matching balls.'

'...When asked what his plans were to stop the shortage of soap and toilet rolls in shops, London Mayor Sadiq Khan said, " What are these things of which you speak?"

BREAKING NEWS: Vegans have a MASSIVELY reduced chance of caching the Coronavirus. It's not because their plant-based diet is superior. It's just that meat-eaters and everybody else stay WELL AWAY from the sanctimonious cunts.