Sickipedia

'...Harvey Weinstein's accusers say they didn't realise they had been raped until after they didn't get the movie part.'

'...When asked what his plans were to stop the shortage of soap and toilet rolls in shops, London Mayor Sadiq Khan said, " What are these things of which you speak?"

BREAKING NEWS: Vegans have a MASSIVELY reduced chance of caching the Coronavirus. It's not because their plant-based diet is superior. It's just that meat-eaters and everybody else stay WELL AWAY from the sanctimonious cunts.

'...Loving this Coronavirus. Women don't run anymore when I approach wearing a mask.'

'...To give you an idea how unattractive I was as a preteen, if I had stayed at Michael Jackson's Neverland, I'd have had my own room.'

'...I used to date a girl called Lorraine Now, I'm going out with a girl called Clara. I would now like to sing a beautiful song entitled; 🎵 I can see Clara now Lorraine has gone. 🎵

BREAKING NEWS: Knife crime in the UK INCREASES DRAMATICALLY. 17.4 MILLION voters STABBED IN THE BACK!

'...How does Meghan Markle warm up for a speech? ME-ME-ME-ME-ME!'

'...Coincidentally with Brexit, the clocks go back on October 31st. Let's hope they go back 50-years BEFORE Britain had even HEARD of the European Union.'

'...Just booked a few days in Bangkok on Agoda.com at £25/per night, so I'm surprised they say 1 Kid under 12 stays with me free. For a dirty old pervert like me that's a REAL bargain.'