Sickipedia

"‘KNIFE CONTROL’? London mayor: ‘There is never a reason to carry a knife’" The Metropolitan Police have announced five hundred arrests for knife possession since the weekend: 160 butchers, 137 chefs, 128 café managers, 116 greengrocers, and 78 dinner ladies.

"The most dangerous stations on the London Underground network" Hmm, don't know about those, but what about: The most religious - Angel The one with the most deadly weapons - Arsenal The richest - Bank The maddest - Barking The most eco-friendly - Turham Green, Greenford and Green Park The least amusing - Victoria The least ethnic - White City

"Alesha MacPhail killer has sentence cut by three years" I was rather hoping he'd have a different cut: his throat.

Does Don Lemon know Jesus doesn't approve of anal sex?

"What we learned from the Queen's Speech" One speaks rather good English.

My favourite food is mushrooms. I'm a fun guy.

First woman: My husband is at the bar. Second woman: The Temple? First woman: No, the White Hart.

Keir Starmer Queer Starmer Starmer Farmer Harmer Two-Tier Keir Not-Here Keir Wish You Were Not Here, Keir

"UK’s first black female Michelin-starred chef: ‘We’re at the forefront of west African food’" I’m sure she is, but I think I’ll give the curried goat with basil seeds, mongoose pie, and raw plantain with okra salad a miss.

The Lucy Letby Top Five 5) I Want My Baby Back by Jimmy Cross 4) Devil Woman by Cliff Richard 3) Almost Lucy by Al Stewart 2) Death On Two Legs by Queen 1) (I Just) Died In Your Arms Tonight by Cutting Crew