Sickipedia

I'm thinking of becoming a singer, last night I was having a sing song in the shower and next thing you know the street was in an uproar of applause (bit crap first joke since joining the site)

I'm glad the trains are running again even better noboby is using them it means I can press my dick up the window and anyone outside won't be sure if they really saw me and it will be stuck in there head all day bad thing is the inspector likes to make me pay for a ticket

Roses are red violets are blue I've got covid 19 and I've just coughed on you😁

I remember when I was in infant school and I was misbehaving and the teacher said "if you carry on I'm going to phone your dad and get him down here" I got so excited because I'd never met him before

I walked around my local Muslim area during ram a dam saying "go on eat the bacon sandwich and I'll give you a £10" I'm now in a+E with a bacon sandwich up my arse

Jim: I remember when I was younger I would get layed everyday I miss them days Steve: what changed? Jim: my dad died

Skynet: My infiltration unit is in place in 2020. meanwhile in 2020. Boris: Yes go outside and go about your day

Teacher: what do we call the science of classifying living things? Little Jimmy: Racism

Hand job

I think he's armless