Sickipedia

GB NEWS: Woman gang-raped in churchyard before Good Samaritan stepped in to help. That was me, the Good Samaritan. After I stepped in to help it became consensual group sex.

My ex girlfriend told me that her mum had been diagnosed with breast cancer and was in the middle of chemotherapy so I turned around to her and said, “good luck, I wish you the best and I hope you beat that horrible deadly mass”. She said, “awww, Thankyou so much. What a lovely thing to say”. I was actually talking to the cancer.

After the Air India crash and with me being involved in the aviation industry, some of my friends have asked me what a RAT is and what does it do. Basically, a RAT is anyone who voted Labour at the last election.

A plane carrying nearly 250 People headed to London from India has crashed. Kier Starmer has said, “Labour is tackling Sky-high immigration”

Have you ever bought something because you’ve seen it appear in a funny video? Anyway, I just bought ‘Over The Horizon - Samsung’ ringtone. It blew Ronnie McNutt’s mind

Another year I’ve managed to avoid watching the Bore-O-Vision Nonce Contest. Who won? I did

If going into space for 3 minutes makes you an astronaut, then I'm a gynaecologist

Last week I found out I was a spider! 🕷️ Optical Express were advertising LASER eye surgery from £595 per eye. After my free consultation I was given a quote of £4760

RIP To the pilots and passengers of the Jeju airline crash. The official cause has been given as bird strikes but come on- how can the pilots see through those slitty eyes???

Why did Mary, Joseph & the wee Donkey need to travel to Bethlehem for shelter? Was Joseph on a sex-offender parole violation where they ran from because his wife wouldn’t f**k him?