Sickipedia

Prince Andrew.... Man United and Will.i.am ... All gone wrong since Fergie left

Saw Emile Heskey in Tesco earlier. Went to push his trolley through the door but put it wide

I was touched up by Buzz Lightyear. He asked to look at my woody #MeToInfinityAndBeyond

Man City vs Port Vale in the FA Cup. bet the bookies are laughing now. I’m sure a lot of people had a lot of money on Man City winning the FA cup again this year.

Storms are due to hit the UK this weekend with 70mph winds expected. Good news, at least the Pakis will finally get a bath.

Oscar is reportedly the first cat in Italy to receive two prosthetic hind legs. He can run the 100m in 12 seconds flat but now gets held down and fucked in the showers by the other cats. The media have dubbed him Oscar Purrstorious.

Happy New Year 2020! You just know Nicola Sturgeon is complaining somewhere about Scotland being dragged out of 2019 against their will.

Donald Trump has said the US airstrike that killed a top Iranian general was designed to prevent a war with Iran - not start one Putting my dick into the plug socket was to prevent myself from getting shocked, not shock me.

A man has been fined $17,000 for throwing “lucky” coins into a plane engine. That’s nothing, I once drilled “lucky” holes into a boat and got away with it. Mainly because all of the cunts who saw me do it drowned.

I'm fat but I identify as slim. I'm translender.