Sickipedia

He's a headstone cowboy..

When Glenn Campbell was last interviewed, he was asked what he thought was his greatest achievement? He replied. "Probably the cream of chicken."

I did't think much of Donald Trumps impression of Samual L Jacksons Pulp fiction speech.

I came so close to winning the Euro millions last night. My next door neighbour won it.

My Auntie Lizzie suffered from sleeping problems with my incontinent uncle Eric for years. Wham even wrote a song for her.

World Athletics news - The IAAF has announced that in the 400-metre relay race, the baton will be replaced with a toilet roll.

My niece claimed Gold in the Special Olympics 100 meter final yesterday, and in a world record time. I'd like to think I played a part in getting her to that record, I was encouraging her from the start line, even though I had to break my restraining order to do so.

Has it ever occurred to you all that while we are on here reading jokes or moaning at users about posting non-original or old jokes when everyone is anonymous? Some people are having sex!

So North Korea has the potential to hit the USA, but can't reach the UK with their nuclear war heads. Kim Jong Un....... I fucking dare you, I fucking double dare you.

Men with beards 50 years ago: “I'm going to the woods to chop down some trees.” Men with beards today: “I'm going to the shops there's a new face mask that’s gluten-free.”