Sickipedia

You’ll never walk again

Well now Klippety is on his way out, we’ll not have to wear sunglasses to watch Match of the Day anymore

More than 120 killed in Indian train crash then eh and that just those on the roof rack !

Note to oneself: Telling your wife to calm down works about as well as someone trying to baptise a cat

I've just been informed by claims direct that following through after 15 pints and a doner kebab on a Saturday night isn't the sort of accident they deal with

I've just been to see the doctor because I keep hearing strange voices coming from my boxer shorts, he told me to ignore them, they're just talking bollocks

In a recent survey of Chinese students, 95% said if they had the choice they would enrol at the University of East Anglia, it must have something to do with their insatiable thirst for Norwich…

What a terrible way for Christian Atsu to go, he must’ve been quaking in his boots

The BBC are reporting that the SNP have narrowed down the search for Nicola Sturgeon’s replacement to seven candidates. Spokespeople for Happy, Doc, Grumpy, Dopey, Bashful, Sleepy, and Sneezy have been contacted but have so far declined to comment

I’m her resignation speech Nicola Sturgeon has said thanks for the last 8 years and she says from now on she’s looking forward to spending more time touring the country during the next Panto season with Snow White and her other 6 pals