Sickipedia

Cricket bat. Used to be a key piece of sporting equipment. Now it's the set menu in my local Chinese restaurant.

Cricket Bat. Used to be a key piece of sporting equipment. Now it's the set menu in my local Chinese restaurant.

What have Dwight Yorke and the Duke of York got in common? They're both well known for fucking unfortunate children.

Football, in the words of Diane Abbot, is a game of three halves.

I just got back from acting in a porno where there were 8 black guys and I was the only white bloke. I had a really small part.

Shaun Ryder and Bez have confirmed they both agree with England's support for #BLM and would be happy to take an E to prove it.

I've just won the World Domestic Violence Championship. I knocked out my daughter in the semis and beat my wife in the final.

What's the difference between Emma Raducanu and Prince Andrew? Emma's not scared of an American court.

"Do anything nice at the weekend?" asked the blonde bird at work today. "Yeah, we saw James Bond at the cinema" I replied. "Oh ,oool!" she said, "What was he watching?"

"My wife had to do a lateral flow test in the bathroom this morning." I said to Muhammed at work. "What's that then?" he replied. "The area of the house we use to wash and clean ourselves every day."