Sickipedia

I like my girls like I like the weather temperature. Just slipping into the teens.

What do yu call a woman with a face like my arse? Maria.

I phoned the council about a lot of potholes. "Where abouts are they, Sir?" "Pretty much all over the front of my shirt," I complained.

There's now an injection that gives permanent relief for those who suffer from cat allergies. It's called "putting your cat to sleep".

I couldn't afford to take the kids to Marine World. So I took them to Billingsgate Fish Market, and said, "Shhhhh, they're all asleep."

Archaeologists reckon they've found the remains of the first gay caveman. Yeah, he was in the 2nd row at a Cliff Richard concert.

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are aiming to go off on honeymoon after their wedding 'for two weeks of living in pampered luxury', followed by a lifetime of ... the same.

According to a new report, only 8 percent of British high school students can pass a basic history test. That’s the lowest percentage since our country was founded in 1932.

A mate of mine's planning to to take a picture of all 194 world capitals over the next three years. I'm going to wait till he's half way through, then I'm going to tell him about Google Earth.

A new study found that thin people have an extra copy of a particular gene ... while fat people have an extra copy of the Domino's takeout menu.