Sickipedia

If Donald Trump had really wanted Hillary Clinton locked up, he should have given her a job on his campaign team.

“£4 for a bucket of popcorn??? The last time I was at the cinema it was only 50 pence!” “Oh, well, you’re in for a big treat, sir. They’ve added colour and sound to the pictures since then.”

Do you ever go into a room and forget what you went in there for? Well, that’s how my dad lost his job as a fireman...

If a couple have sex behind a locked door in a public toilet, does mean they’re officially ‘engaged’?

Woman in vegetative state gives birth. The vegetative state is Arizona.

John Worboys was driving a trio of gorgeous blondes into town, when he drove his taxi into a Tesco petrol station and filled up. When he went to pay, the cashier asked, "Pump 3?" Worboys said, "Not yet, but I'm working on it."

Why is it called ‘Black Friday’? After I’ve bought all the ‘Deals-of-the-Day’, I’m in the red.

Played the new ‘Monopoly - NHS Edition ‘ at Christmas. The game abruptly ends in bankruptcy when someone lands on Chance, and gets the card that says, ‘Each player must pay hospital car parking charges.’

Police officer denies sleeping with female activist while undercover. “We did it up against a wall,” he told the court.

In an effort to rescue her career and avoid bankruptcy, Katie Price has begun work on a sexy reality TV show, set inside a commercial airplane, called ‘Come Inside My Cockpit’. She did the pilot yesterday.