Sickipedia

Every time James Bond sleeps with a beautiful woman she dies soon after. It is the same with me, although never in that order.

Quasimodo. That name rings a bell.

When her pussy drips red, don't give a sigh, Don't get depressed and try not to cry. When timid fuckers would call it quits, A real man slams it right where she shits.

I always remember what my gran used to say. "If you want something done right, do it yourself." Which really fucked me up when I had to be circumcised.

The girlfriend's some sort of weirdo as she uses her vibrator during her period. Well I think she does .. It tastes like it.

I believe that I'm a pussy magnet. Because I always seem to be surrounded by cunts.

My 13 year old son came home the other night and told me he had just had sex for the first time. I asked him did he wear any protection? He said, "yes Dad, we all wore balaclavas."

Crematoriums. They really make my blood boil.

When I told my girlfriend I wanted to do her up the ass, she agreed, as long as I wore a condom. I don't want shit all over my fist anyway.

I let my dog off his lead to have a bit of fun with the ducks. Within minutes there was blood, feathers and dead ducks all over the place. He just sat there watching.