Sickipedia

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. The barman says "Is this some kind of crap joke?"

I had to move out of my flat in Brixton because I lost my retriever. I wasn't about to walk the streets shouting "Nigger, here boy!"

A tramp knocks on a door in South Kensington. When the lady of the house answers, he thrusts a whitish dog turd in her face and asks for salt as the turd has lost its flavour. "Oh my dear man, throw that away. There's fresh cat shit in the back yard."

A massive bloke walks into a pub and just as he goes in he slips on dog shit. When he gets to the bar he is wiping it off and complains to the barman. A bloke at the bar with shit smeared on his jacket says "I just did that" Supply your own punchline

My new sex robot arrived earlier and I handed it to the wife. She looked well put out and said "I ain't having sex with that thing". "I don't want you to have sex with it. Just teach it to do the washing, cook, iron and hoover up. Then fuck off"

What's the difference between an erect penis and a babies dummy? Nothing, according to my six week old daughter.

This site is now faster than me having sex.

Why is your dinner always late when the wife is on the blob? Cos it fucking is! OK? Yes dear..............

What are the 3 things a black man never has? A Black eye. A thick lip. A job

How many misogynists does it take to do the washing up? One because women are cunts