Sickipedia

Paddy: I found God while I was in prison. Murphy: Oh, so that's where he's been.

It's getting so cold, the flashers in town are handing out written descriptions.

Dear recent graduates, If you used AI to get your degree, And then lost your job to a robot, That's on you.

I'm what they call a "functioning alcoholic." As long as my liver is functioning, I'm an alcoholic.

Say what you want about the explosion at a Tennessee factory that killed 19 people. At least they're hiring.

And in financial news . . . Atlantic Feather Company had another down day. United Lettuce closed ahead. Titanic Salvage sank rapidly. Ginsu Knife rose sharply. UK Pencil Company lost a few points. RyanAir went sky high. Huggies Nappies remained unchanged. Cushelle touched a new bottom. And Trump Enterprises hit a new low.

Paddy: "The doctor says I'm bipolar." Murphy: "You've been to both the North Pole and the South Pole?"

Yesterday in Alaska, I told Trump where he could go, told PUtin where he could park it, and told JD Vance to follow me. I love being an usher at important events.

Paddy: "Do you believe in life after death?" Murphy: "I'm not sure, but I believe in death after life."

"It's Your Word Against Mine." Is my new book on Scrabble strategy.