Sickipedia

I was in Debenhams today when the escalator broke down. We all just stopped and staired.

Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing.

My dad told me never to go to a cheap, sleazy, raunchy strip club because ‘you’ll see something you shouldn’t’. I went anyway and indeed saw something I shouldn’t – my dad !!!

I met a beautiful girl down at the park today. Sparks flew, she fell at my feet, and we ended up having sex right there and then. I fucking love my new Taser.

My girlfriend just admitted that she used to be Christian, so I broke up with her. It might seem judgemental, but I’ve only known her since she was Christine.

How many wankers does it take to change a light bulb? Just the one - but none are available coz they're too busy making pointless comments about jokes being stolen instead of just enjoy a good laugh, then posting jokes they don't actually make up themselves anyway........

My neighborhood barber has been arrested for selling drugs. I’ve been his customer for years … I never knew he was a barber though.

Listen carefully, i shall say this only once. This................

If you think of a good fish joke. Let Minnow

I see Sophie Ellis Bextor's nightclub has had to closed down - an infestation of crows apparently. There was a murder on the dancefloor ......