Sickipedia

I couldn't be gay, Because I respect men. And I don't fuck things I respect.

My Darling Wife told me about her last boyfriend earlier who died. She said I was by his bedside when he said in a weak voice "that there's something I must confess" She said don't worry about it there's nothing you need to confess. But he insisted "No I must die in peace, I'm so sorry but I've had sex with your sister on multiple occasions and last week she informed me that she is having my kid" "I know" she whispered. "That's why I poisoned you, now close your eyes"

To prepare for the upcoming murder of multiple British cyclists buy industrial chest freezer, there's much less mess when the body is frozen at the time of disposal

A break from all the meatloaf.... Boris Johnson is the political equivalent of buying a house on the gaza strip because you like the curtains.

What's the worst thing about gang rape? Waiting your turn.

News headlines: Azeem Rafiq predicts ‘hundreds and thousands’ could share experiences Now I know he's talking shit, I mean how does he even know what food is thinking 🤔

My mate tells me "The Russian forces kill 80 people in a missile attack 😳. This was is getting out of hand." To which I replied "but you have failed to look on the positives!" With the anger bubbling in his face "positives, what f**king positives are there to that?!" Well it was a mosque 🕌

So kicking cats is where most people draw a line.... To which I reply "if you don't draw a line how do you know how far you've kicked them?" 😂

Paddy's working for the railway and his boss say 2 trains are heading towards each other on the same track wat do u do. Paddy's say oid pull the lever and switch tracks. Boss says the lever jammed n paddy say there an emergency one on the track oid run down and pull it. Boss says that ones jammed as well Paddy's say oid phone my brother. Boss says does ur brother work for the railway. N Paddy's say no Boss but he's never saw a train crash.🤣

What's big, black and screams? Harvey Price answering the iron