Sickipedia

Got locked out of my flat last night so had to call out a locksmith. Luckily he was allowed to travel as he’s considered a keyworker

Looking foreword to my eyesight getting better in the New year . Will be good to have 2020 vision

America: only guns can keep us safe. Britain: pass me that Narwhal tusk.

That interview with Prince Andrew , was the second worst car crash that the royal family has organised.

Apparently the police have a hunch who started the notre dame cathedral fire

Speaking tonight when questioned about, the Corbyn target. Diane Abbot says if Labour get into power she will cancel funding for the Paralympics She doesn't think the Paras should have their own Olympics.

Hippos can run faster than humans on land, and swim faster than humans in water. Which means the bicycle is your only chance of beating a hippo in a triathlon.

on a date i kissed a girl , after we parted lips , she whispered in my ear " i thought it was quite kinky the way you passed your chewing gum into my mouth" I whispered in her ear back " its not chewing gum , i have T.B." .....

it really pisses me off that everyone in the world says that i exaggerate things

"Waking the dead" One letter away from the most controversial TV show ever (credit old site)