Sickipedia

I have a fear of paying to use the carparks or parking meters in town centres. I just look for the nearest field and leave my car there. Maybe i have parking zone disease.

My late grandad always used to say "skys the limit". Great bloke,shit pilot.

My wife recently ran away with my best friend. He managed 3 miles, she only got half way down the street.

Tell you something these liverpool fans are abit touchy at the moment. Was getting of the train earier wearing my Everton top .. I saw a man struggling to get of the train and on to the platform, as i got of in front of him i realised you had to step over more than usual so i said to him "mind the gap mate". He went crazy and said "dont you start as well you bluenose prick!". How rude...!!?

I have to be honest, wearing a facemask in public seems pointless to me and a complete waste of time. But judging by some of the single mums on my housing estate , not seeing them completely seems like a blessing in disguise.

I pulled a prank on the postman recently, before his due arrival i glued the flap shut on the letter box so he could not open it.. He got his own back on me though.., he made sure my wife keeps her flaps closed on me.

As i sat there awaiting my covid jab the young nurse said "you might feel a bit of a prick". I replied, have you heard my jokes love im used to it.

My brother is going to be fuming when he finds out i shagged his bird last night. Feathers and seed was everywere.

Me and the wife never see eye to eye. She's blind.

My wife is always telling me i do not know anything...how wrong she is. I know her sister has a birthmark on the top of her inner leg and her husband leaves for work at 9am.