Sickipedia

Has anyone else watched Dirty Rotten Scammers on BBC1 with Michelle Ackerly and her mum Mavis talking and thought they were watching a Planet of the Apes film?

A newly qualified solicitor begins the first day of his new job,and really impresses his boss. At the end of the day,the boss calls him in his office and pours him a whisky, then says "I like you son,how about this? If you marry my daughter, I will give you a 1 million pound salary per year,a brand new Aston Martin every five years,and you can keep every penny you make on cases?"The lads ears prick up "I am tempted Sir,is your daughter pretty?" "Ermm,not really ,she's actually pig ugly,but we can't tell her,it would hurt her feelings" He then pulls out a photo,and the lad recoils in horror at the hideous apparition facing him "Look",says the Boss," 5 million a year,a new Aston Martin every six months and I'll buy you a massive apartment in Docklands if you do" The lad figures "if I put a bag over her head,a fuck might work" so he agrees. His boss is thrilled, but then says "Urm,she's also as thick as pigshit" A year later,the lad is putting up a Van Gogh in the apartment and shouts out "Get the hammer woman " She strolls back muttering "Get hammer,get hammer" He then shouts "Get nails" she strolls back muttering "Get nails,get nails" Suddenly, he whacks his thumb really hard and screams "FUCK!!: She strolls back muttering "Get bag, get bag"

What's the scariest thing to read in braille? Do Not Touch.

Genuine BBC news report... 'Migrants to get Diphtheria at processing centre' Missing word typo error, or rogue BBC reporter?

Black Friday? The buggers have had a whole month to themselves and they're STILL not satisfied?

My housekeeping style has been described as- "There appears to have been a struggle"

What does a horny frog say? "Rub it!"

Sometimes there's nothing funnier in life than watching the guy in the corner of the T.V screen hand signing a porno movie....

I see James Hewitts son couldn't be arsed to come over for the Remembrance parade in London...He would have looked great standing next to his father King Charles,all proud in his uniform... Oh,hang on...

Why does Katie Price have TGIF printed inside her shoes? Toes Go In First