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ritanumber2

Member since 7 years ago

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ritanumber2

7 years ago-Other-Misunderstanding-Post Rating : 0

Everyone clapped when I announced I was ambidextrous. Piss taking fuckers!

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5 years ago-Other-Misunderstanding-Post Rating : 18

I asked my wife to get me a green jumper for my Birthday. Just unwrapped a Frog!

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7 years ago-Crime-Terrorists-Post Rating : 0

My carrots think I take too many drugs.

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5 years ago-Sex and Shit-Incest-Post Rating : 3

My Mum straddled me and shouted in my face, "You're a fucking loser!" Wasn't what I expected to happen the second I lost my virginity.

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5 years ago-Sex and Shit-Wife-Post Rating : 8

My spouse, Fi, has left me because of my obsession with the internet. "Why Fi, Why?"

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6 years ago-Sex and Shit-Masturbation-Post Rating : 4

Apparently our stranded cruise ship made it back to shore thanks to a tug. Wow, I didn't realise I was wanking that vigorously!

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7 years ago-Other-One Liner-Post Rating : 0

Seems a boring category but I'll contribute. RMS Titanic

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4 years ago-Total fucking shit-Knock knock-Post Rating : 9

I found a wooden stake with a square piece of wood attached to it. I thought fuck it, I'll try selling it. Wrote for sale on it and stuck it on my front lawn. Wow, just been offered £300k for it!

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4 years ago-Sex and Shit-Masturbation-Post Rating : 8

"You've go spunk in your hair you dirty fucker!" I shouted furiously My cock never replied.

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5 years ago-Other-Misunderstanding-Post Rating : 4

I bought a shoe cam off a voyeurs site. I'd highly recommended it. You'd be amazed at the amount of dog shit you tread in during the day.

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