Sickipedia

I walked past the fridge and thought I heard a carrot singing ‘Stayin’ Alive’. Turns out it was just a chive talking.

I walked past the fridge and thought I heard a carrot singing ‘Stayin’ Alive’. Turns out it was just a chive talking.

So they've finally caved in and arrested those 2 upstanding pillars of the community who shot and killed that dangerous escaped ape... What happened to you America

Just opened a tin of alphabet spaghetti and they were all O's... What are the fucking chances of that then egg heads

Just asked the assistant in the hardware shop if he had any Bulldog clips? "No", he said. "but I've got a lovely little video of a Jack Russell"

A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday. Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head

I met my wife 30 years ago and she's as beautiful now as she was then, and all it's taken is 3 facelifts, a dozen skin peels, 2 boob jobs and liposuction every 6 months....and my failing eyesight obviously

I was really enjoying the sequal to gorilla's in the mist until I realised it was Meghan Markles recently released video of baby Archie

Dear Sir I'd like to congratulate Elon Musk who has named his baby son X AE A-12 in some bizarre code to represent where he was conceived. My parents did something similar so great minds and all that. Sincerely J-9 M11

My Jewish neighbours kid has ADHD so I suggested putting him in a concentration camp.