Sickipedia

If Theresa May does Boris Johnson’s divorce, he’ll end up with a huge settlement and still be married afterwards

I don’t like to boast but I get laid whenever I want thanks to having a massive tool. It has a 12 inch blade

The Presidential Inauguration Accuse Trump of fake news then swear on a book of stories to a fake magic sky-man

Fucking lockdown. It's ruined my sex life. The only shag I get is the wife

Disappointment for blacks as they will be unable to get the vaccine They need their arms to walk home

Went out with my mates on the pull. Plied the bitches with vodka, fags, weed. Gave them a stolen iPhone each. We all had a bang on each of them. Most of them hadn't grown a proper bush yet but that's the way me and my mates like it. When we'd finished, we gave them a slug of cash each, some fags, weed and topped up their phones. We're meeting them later tonight maybe introduce them to some more mates too. After we've been to the mosque to pray to Allah.

Princess Camilla has received her vaccine today. Against equine flu

I’m all for teaching kids about religions other than their own. And you can do this is everyday situations: “Sorry kids. You can’t go in the cockpit because Islam ruined that for you”

31 Police officers from London have been fined £200 each for arranging a hairdressers to cut their hair at the station. They deserve a clip round the ear

From Maga to Gaga