Sickipedia

A charity concert has been set up in honour of the 39 immigrants found dead in the back of a lorry. So far to confirm are Ice T, The Black Eyed Peas and Arctic Monkeys

I'm thinking of trading my car in for one of those "not in service" buses. Wow, how fast are they?

This is a true undocumented fact. My great grandad Carl was on board the Titanic. When it was sinking he grabbed the nearest drinks trolley, jumped overboard, spent 7 days drifting at sea, landed on a desert island, and spent the rest of his days shagging native women. If Carl's Berg did cruises.

Now the summers over I've just bought me some lawn restorer from B&Q. It's called Gary Haggerty, supergrass

Just a thought, i'm on my 8th pint in the pub and the wife phones. "If your not home in half hour I'm locking you out". Is she really locking me out, or locking herself in?

Geoff Boycott honoured, or to put it shortly GBH

My ex girlfriend drove me to drink. When she got banned I packed her in

After all the hype from Nicola Sturgeon, it looks like Scotland will be the first to leave Europe after todays draw.

Just ordered me the house special chilly. Number 39, comes in one large container

Is it treble points day or something?